A divorce, by any means, can be a confusing situation. I know because I have been there too and I have watched friends and family go through the struggle as well. Once it is inevitable that a divorce is in your future, there is often this sense of urgency, maybe even a need to get the divorce over as soon as possible. It is an extremely awkward period of time. The normal life that was once your marriage is now in the past, and you are eager to move on with a new life. If you allow these feelings to consume you, then they can only lead to one thing... clouded judgment and big mistakes!
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is to sign something without the assistance of a divorce attorney. It doesn't matter what it is! It can be a financial agreement, a property settlement, or even custody arrangement. The reason why it is so important that you Do Not Sign Anything is because no matter how hard you try or how much you are will to pay for your divorce attorney, you will not be able to get that agreement thrown out! Claiming that you were ignorant to the issue or that you were pressured/forced into signing something, will not work. You are an adult and the judge will know that you are capable of understanding what you are doing when you signed the agreement. Anything short of proving without a doubt, that there was a gun pointed at your head when you signed it, it will not just go away.
Just consider this quick example when your soon-to-be-ex hands you a piece of paper to sign that she promises will take care of all issues and will allow the divorce to proceed without a hitch...
A man agrees to allow his wife to keep the children in the house while the divorce proceeds. She is very thankful and lets him come over whenever he wants to see the kids. But soon she starts to get very concerned that the man will disappear or stop helping support the kids. Even though the concern is unfounded, she insists that the man sign a small, one paragraph agreement that says he will help support the kids with this much money a week. It seems OK because it states that it will it is only valid until the divorce is finalized, and obviously he was going to help with the kids anyway. So there can't be any harm in signing it, especially if it appeases the wife and stops her from "freaking out" every time he comes to visit the kids.
Fast forward two months later... He is asking for at least joint custody of the kids, but her and her divorce attorney refuse and say that he has already agreed to allow her to be the primary custodial parent. He disagrees strongly and fights the issue all the way into court. The judge looks at everything and sides with the wife right away... But Why!?!
The answer is simple, you just have to take an outside look at the situation. The man agreed to move out of the house... Mistake #1. He allows the kids to stay there with his wife full time... obviously thinking about not disrupting the life of his kids, but still Mistake #2. And finally he signed an agreement that said he would willingly pay child support... Big Mistake #3. He has already assumed the position as the non-custodial parent, and he did it voluntarily, without any order by the courts! There is no reason for the judge to change that now. Instead, he is only allowed to have his kids every other weekend and on some holidays.
Thinks about it! He slowly set himself up for this outcome and the big kicker was having a signed agreement that he will pay child support. So the next time your soon-to-be-ex hands you a piece of paper to sign, just say that you would more than happy to, but your divorce lawyer has ordered you not to sign anything until they look it over. The plain and simple truth about it... Do Not Sign Anything!
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